jayne

I have requested a change in my working hours so that I work less days for slightly longer hours. Then I will have a 3 day weekend. I am really seeing how much the frantic schedule at work affects my eating. Yesterday I packed a healthy salad and my snack so I wouldn’t be tempted.

The day went haywire as soon as I got there ,with urgent/ crisis stuff sideswiping my plans completely. It was 3.45pm before I could even stop to think about lunch and I felt so flat, had only 15 mins till I had to attend a meeting and so I went for the packet of chips again. I will do better today I hope. Hopefully these changes of working less days will help me to get a bit more time to myself on the weekend. I really love my job , but I need to be realistic about the way it is affecting my health at the minute and change what I can.

 I know I need to reduce stress to be able to get healthy. And thanks to all you great buddies out there ! Your support and reading other stories really has helped me and  made it possible for me to stick to my plans. Maybe not perfectly, but for the first time in a long time I feel like I can really do this, and that I will see it through to my goal and to maintenance, however long that takes. Thanks

That has been  my mantra today. I don’t know why but it hit me like a tonne of bricks this morningthat I have a choice about the whole health, weight, looks thing.  I have a choice every time I tell myself that ‘just this once’ it won’t matter, or when I eat my feelings instead of trying to work them out. My body at the minute is just the sum total of all the choices I have made in the past.

It’s my decision to cope with my emotions in the past by eating. I can choose to do it differently now. And I am, one meal at a time. One exercise session at a time. One emotion at a time.

I have never shared my before pics before. However this forum is just so great and you all are so supportive I am going to be brave. Seeing my photos the other night just shocked me. I deleted the worst ones but here are a few before shots of me over the last couple of months. Look fast, because I will not be looking like this for much longer!

Last night I went to a party and thought I looked pretty good. Then I say the photos!!   I had several chins and chunky arms.  I just looked fat. There is no other way to say it. I  kept reminding myself that at least I was thinner than I was a couple of weeks ago.

It has made me really determined to lose the weight !

I have to go to a family dinner in a little while and I can usually eat reasonable food there. I am going to track everything I eat and my exercise from now on. I am also going to bite the bullet and upload some photos later. I always avoid doing this. I think I have some kind of illusion about how I really look so photos always shock me.

I lost 4lbs this week! I feel much more motivated and I am really determined to reach my goal. I watched a show on Oprah this week where she had the Dove over 50 ladies on and other older women. The women were just inspiring! I want to be fit and healthy and full of energy as I get older, not draggin around like I have been.

I have been reading up more on inflammation and how it relates to health. I have several auto-immune diseases, all inflammatory,  and lots of food and chemical allergies. I also have a strong family history of diabetes, heart disease and early onset Alzhiemers. With everything I am reading I can see that inflammation is a big part of that disease process. Also the stress that I have been under for the last couple of years causes inflammation. No wonder I’ve been feeling so miserable and that I just can’t lose the weight!

So I am going shopping this morning to buy up on some anti inflammatory foods and to get some fish oil supplements. If I don’t make all these health changes now it will get harder and harder. So this week I am focusing on ding daily exercise and relaxation, adding food supplements and preparing good healthy meals.

Here a few links to some of the articles I have been reading:

The Role of Stress

Inflamation Research Articles

Inflammation: Double Edged Sword  (very scientific but really good article)

5 Flat Belly Foods (MUFA’s)

Just before I was about to attend a  work meeting yesterday someone suggested we meet over lunch at the Italian restaurant. Arrgghhh!!!! Not Pasta!! I said I would prefer to eat at another place where I knew that I could get chicken and salad and  few others agreed. So it was a good start to a lunch meeting!

However then I got told that the other person who works with me will not be replaced immediately when he leaves at the end of the week.

To say I was not happy is putting it mildly! We have been complaining of the workload for some months now and this is only going to increase the pressure on everyone. I was really annoyed and ate most of my meal in silence. I didn’t have dessert, but I did have a skim coffee.

I thought about it a bit more and did work out what I was feeling. I was feeling like I was taken for granted! As if I didn’t matter to them. Once the lunch was over I went and had a talk to my boss. I explained that the workload is already brodering on unmanageble and I wasn’t willing to burned out while they saved some money!

As a result I am now trying to set it up so I the same hours but over less days. This will reduce some of the stress but not affect my income. I am going to review my work and stop accepting so many people and set a strict limit on how many appointments I take a day. I find this really hard to do when I have tried in the past but I am determined. If I burn out and get sick then they will just find someone else to do the work. If I don’t take care of myself then nobody else will.

I have declared 5-6 am My Time! This morning I got up and did 30 minutes on the treadmill and then 30 minutes of relaxation / meditation. I feel really good for doing it and I am sitting here now with my cup of green tea feeling pretty good about myself.

Have a good day everyone!

Yesterday was just an awful day at work. It was a real crisis to deal with. I eventually found time to grab a very quick bite and instead of going to the vending machine for some chocolate (my usual source of comfort in stressful situations) I ate a half an apple and bought a fruit juice for some quick energy. Then got back to work. I got no actual work done except for dealing with a crisis so I am even futher behind in the day to day paperwork.

Then a few hours later driving home, I was so tempted to buy some junk food. I have an hour trip in the car and after a stressful day I usually stop and buy junk / comfort food and eat it on the way home. A binge. Nobody knows then but me, and the scales!

I am so proud of myself for NOT eating away my emotions yesterday!  It gave me a chance to see some of what is really going on for me at the minute. I am working in a job I love but it is very high stress. What I am seeing by journalling is that I am avoiding dealing with what I am really feeling ie: stressed out and in need of a break.

I am allowing myself to take on too much work and not having enough time for myself. I feel like I stuck on one speed and that is full speed ahead!

I know that I need to re-assess my workload, my job, my habit of ignoring my own needs for the sake of others. I think that is what a lot of my weight is. When I feel stressed and tired I comfort myself with food. I feel stressed and tired becuase I take on too much and I ignore what my body and spirit are crying out for.

I want a calmer, more peaceful life, with time for family, friends, and hobbies. Thats where I’m  headed with this weight loss.

I didn’t lose any weight this week but I did lose 2″ which I am really happy about. TOM arrived and I always gain weight then so the fact the scales stayed the same means I will probably have a BIG loss next week.

 I have really improved my eating. I am bascially sticking to the 3 meals, 2 snacks. I haven’t skimped on portions because I don’t want to feel really hungry and then binge.

I ate in the car one day this week. I have decided that was the last time. I just have to rule out eating in the car completely.

I have made more of an effort with my appearance. It is so easy to drop into thinking Why Bother? so  I am making time in the mornings to spruce myself up a bit.

  This forum is wonderful! I only wish I had more time to post, read and send messages to people. I really appreciate the messages I have had. Thankyou, they help.

I am off to do some relaxation exercises and then some writing  for my emotional eating journal. I am finally

HOME ALONE !

I feel so motivated by this forum! Yesterday I shopped for food, made sure I had everything I need to stay on my plan. I’m going to use Southbeach. I need to be low carb and I did southbeach once before and got a really good result. As soon as I added non-vegie carbs I just stacked the weight on.

So my plan for this week is:

• drink only water or herbal tea
• 3 meals & 2 snacks each day
• 20 minutes on treadmill daily
• NO eating in the car!
• keep a food diary
• work on my emotional eating diary

When I reach my mini goal of 190 lbs I am going to get my hair streaked. I have become such a frump!  How did it happen? I used to take a lot of care with my appearance, but gradually I have fallen into the habit of doing the minimum, looking OK but not really making a huge effort.

I am tired of my wardrobe of shirts that I can wear as jackets over t shirts, to try and hide my fat arms and my chubby belly! And I won’t even mention the structurally engineered style bras that I wear!

so I need a whole makeover really.

 It’s time to put myself, and my health first for a change.

Have a great day everyone!

Where to begin… well I have realised that I can’t lose this weight on my own that’s for sure! My weight is now 198 lbs. It was 204 a few months ago. I’ve been an emotional eater for years. The last few years have been very stressful and so my weight kept going up and up. It’s reached the point where my health is affected. Now I am at risk of diabetes which runs in the family and the Dr is really nagging me about my weight.

I started a journal about my emotional eating and that has really helped me. It made me realise the need for support, that it’s Ok to ask for help. So here I am and it feels like I’ve come to the right place!

I have joined the Hot Rods and I’m strapped in, have my helmet on and I’m rearing to go! I look forward to meeting and making some friends on the way !